I Think We're Too Afraid of Stress

A question I hear a lot is, "Shouldn't I stop if my dog looks stressed?" My answer is always, "It depends on what you mean by stressed." Somewhere along the way, stress has become a dirty word in dog training, and I don't think that's doing our dogs any favours.

Imagine if a parent decided they never wanted their child to experience stress.

Every difficult maths question would be answered for them.

Every disagreement with a friend would be solved by an adult.

Every challenge at school would be removed before the child had a chance to work through it. On the surface, it sounds kind. In reality, it would leave that child completely unprepared for life, because confidence isn't something we hand to someone.

Confidence is something they develop after repeatedly discovering that they can cope with things they once found difficult.

Dogs learn in exactly the same way.

That doesn't mean I want dogs overwhelmed, frightened or pushed beyond their limits. Quite the opposite. Excessive, prolonged stress is detrimental to both welfare and learning. What I'm talking about is the kind of manageable challenge that asks the brain to adapt. A puppy waiting instead of charging through a doorway. A rescue dog learning that spending a few minutes alone doesn't predict abandonment. A dog choosing to disengage from another dog instead of dragging their owner across the street.

None of those situations are completely effortless for the dog, nor should they be.

Behavioural neuroscience has shown us for decades that the brain doesn't learn best in a state of complete comfort. If there is no challenge, there is very little reason for the brain to change. At the other extreme, if a dog becomes overwhelmed, learning also deteriorates because survival takes priority. The sweet spot sits somewhere in the middle, where the task is difficult enough to require effort but still achievable enough that the dog can think, make decisions and recover afterwards.

This is why I think the conversation around stress has become too simplistic. Instead of asking whether our dogs are experiencing any stress at all, I think we should be asking whether the challenge is appropriate for the dog standing in front of us. Are they still taking food? Are they able to disengage? Can they recover once the exercise is over?

If the answer is yes, then we may be looking at exactly the kind of experience that builds resilience rather than damages it.

The goal has never been to raise a dog that never experiences stress. That's impossible, because life itself is stressful. The goal is to raise a dog that has repeatedly experienced manageable challenges, recovered successfully and learnt, through experience, that they can cope with whatever life throws at them.

To me, that's what confidence really looks like.

"Smooth seas do not make skilful sailors." - African Proverb